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Battle Lines
May 17 - Shatner On The Future
The former Captain Kirk talks world events, politics and his personal tragedy.

May 17 - Star Trek XI News Bullets
Yelchin on Romulans, Bald Romulans and drilling rigs, Orci on 'Star Trek XI', Abrams on Nimoy

May 16 - Retro Review: The Defector
A Romulan determined to bring about peace between his empire and the Federation leads the crew into a dangerous showdown.

May 16 - Shatner On The Past And Being Remembered
More show appearances and interviews from the former Captain Kirk.

May 15 - Bakula Filming 'The Informant'
Filming has the locals abuzz and eager for actor sightings.

May 14 - Pegg Says 'Star Trek XI' Should Not Be A Parody
Playing Scotty means doing his own take on the character, not trying to imitate James Doohan.

May 14 - Stewart Nominated For Tony Award
Former Captain Picard up for award for his role in MacBeth.

May 14 - Mojo on 'Starship Spotter'
'Starship Spotter' co-author shares new starship images and discusses reaction to 'Starship Spotter'.

May 14 - British Judicial Robes In A 'Star Trek' Makeover
New robes for British judges are reminiscent of 'Star Trek' costumes.

May 14 - Shatner on Conan
Dislike of his fellow cast members towards him is still a mystery to the former Captain Kirk.

May 12 - New 'Star Trek: Odyssey' Episode Released
A kidnapping, a traitor and a fragile alliance make for drama in the newest 'Odyssey" episode.

May 12 - Shatner And Nimoy Weren't Always Best Buddies
Shatner's new autobiography describes both his 'Star Trek' working life and details of his personal life.

May 12 - 'Star Trek XI' Not Just A Prequel
'Star Trek XI' covers more than the earliest days of Kirk and Spock.

May 9 - Retro Review: The Vengeance Factor
An assassin plagues the Enterprise crew's attempt to reconcile two factions of an alien race.

May 9 - Back To The Basics For Stewart
Former Captain Picard on 'Star Trek' and its influence on him. Plus: Stewart nominated for several awards.

 
By Wowbagger
Posted at December 25, 2004 - 3:57 PM GMT

See Also: 'Battle Lines' Episode Guide

Bashir: (over comm) Sir, you had better come down and see this.
Sisko: What is it, Doctor?
Bashir: Trouble.
Sisko: What kind of trouble?
Bashir: (sigh) All right, it's just the Kai.
Sisko: The Kai is trouble?
Bashir: No, I just always wanted to say that, sir.

Sisko: The wormhole is very, very prettyful. But YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO SEE IT! Hahahahaha!
Opaka: (makes sad puppy eyes)
Sisko: Awww... okay. Board ill-fated runabout-with-river-for-a-namesake #2.
Bashir: Right away, sir.
Sisko: Not you! Just the K--
Bashir: What, sir? I can't hear you.

Opaka: Very, very, very prettyful. Now why don't we all chill in dis here hood, yo?
Sisko, Bashir, and Kira: ...?
Opaka: Look, some joker sent the Prophets an OCD of gangsta rap. Just ignore it and pay attention to the subspace message that's coming in in five seconds which I of course could know nothing about yet. Right.
Sisko: What subspa-- Ah, so there is. We will now drop our current line of questioning.
Opaka: (phew!)

Kira: We're being fired upon by a 900-megawatt pulse thingy!
Sisko: Hey, these shields can take a decent beating from a starship with enough power to wipe out a planet. I'm sure we can handle the equivalent of a small power plant's daily -- oh, crud.

Yangtzee Kiang: GAK!
Opaka: I'm all right! I'm all -- GAK!
Bashir: She's dead, Ben.
Kira: By Grapthar's Hammer, You Shall Be Avenged!
Sisko: Hey, she's not really dead! She just blinked!
Ennis: Ignore that. Focus on us instead.

Shel-la: Note the hair.
Sisko: Wow. Any man who can look worse than Picard and Ted Koppel combined is a man to be respected.
Shel-la: Ennis good. Nol-Ennis bad.
Sisko: But you're exactly the same.
Shel-la: No! Don't you see? I'm bald on the left and hairy on the right; their leader is bald on the right and hairy on the left!

Shel-la: We stopped using energy weapons centuries ago.
Sisko: Then what's that you're holding?
Shel-la: Ignore that.

Ennis #1: GAK!
Nol-Ennis #42: GAK!
Ennis #26 and #47: GAK!
Nol-Ennis #54-107 Inclusive: GAK!
Various Others: GAK!
Kira: Looks like somebody likes a certain word...

Opaka: Anti-GAK!
Kira: She's alive!
Ennis: Meh.
Sisko: Meh? Isn't that a bit suspicious?
Bashir: Ignore that.

Sisko: How about a cease fire?
Shel-la: Yes, I'm willing to discuss a "cease fire."
Sisko: Why the scare quotes?
Shel-la: Whatever are you talking about?

O'Brien: We'll use a differential magnetomer to scan for humanoid biosigns by penetrating the delta radiation and the mutual induction field set up by--
Dax: Not one more word or you'll cause a technobabble explosion that'll take out that small moon.
O'Brien: That's no moon... that's a battle GAK!
Dax: Lucky that this "Hammer of Smiting" just materialized on the transporter pad.
T'Pol: (over the comm) No problem.

Zlangco: Here for the "cease fire talks?"
Sisko: It disturbs me that you--
Shel-la: As opposed to the cease fire talks? Yes, I'm here for the "cease fire talks."
Sisko: Hey, guys, guys--
Zlangco: That's good, because I'm here on behalf of PETE: People Eating Tasty Ennis. En garde!

Ennis and Nol-Ennis: GAK!
Nol-Ennis #33 1/3: Sisko, prepare to be GAKitized!
Bashir: You wish.

Sisko: Thanks. Say, you jump really well, almost like a superman!
Bashir: Uh... ignore that.
Sisko: Why does everyone keep telling me to ignore them?
Bashir: Uh... ignore that, too.

O'Brien: (over the comm) Commander, we're ready to beam you up now.
Sisko: Chief, we still have a plot developing down here.
O'Brien: I see. Oh, what's this? Sorry, sir, but some interference (wink wink) up here will delay beamup by about fifteen minutes. (wink wink)
Sisko: Are you winking at me over a communicator?
O'Brien: Of course not, sir. (wink wink)
Sisko: Okay, then.

Bashir: I'm going to make sure these people can die forever, as an act of mercy.
Shel-la: Excellent. A new weapon!
Bashir: On second thought, we'll just leave the Kai with them instead.
Opaka: What?
Bashir: Uh... you're stuck here... uh... forever. Right.

Sisko: I feel bad about abandoning the Kai.
Dax: Ignore it.
Sisko: And if I don't?
Dax: I dunno. Good advice, though.
Sisko: No, it isn't.
Dax: I'm ignoring you.
Sisko: Grrr...
(Rio Grande computer realizes that ignorance is bliss and erases its memory banks at Ludicrous Speed)

THE END

Find more episode info in the Episode Guide.


Wowbagger is one of the contributors of Five-Minute Voyager, where sci-fi episodes are reduced to "fivers" of one-twelfth their original length.

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